A year since Mum died

It is a year and a day since Mum died and I know that she would be so proud of me today.  I can officially announce that I have started work with the Alzheimer's Society - their Training and Consultancy arm - as a Dementia Trainer.  Mum had breast cancer, not dementia though.  The care and services she got towards the end of her life were outstanding, particularly the hospice care.  It is this sort of service and care that I want to see for everyone at the end of their lives which is why I am so enjoying my new roles, as I am in a privileged position being able to train people about how we can help people with dementia live well with the condition.  I am not just working at the Alzheimer's Society as this is a part time temporary role but also working for myself, as a consultant, on the latest research on social media, co-production, innovation and quality.  I do hope though that my relationship with the Alzheimer's Society is a long and fruitful one - together we are stronger is my belief.

Thank you for your support...

Next week I am going to the Alzheimer Europe conference where for the first time I will be meeting the inspirational Julie Christie who has helped me so much over the past two years. Karen Watchman, Clarissa Giebel and Nathan Davies will be there - great contributors to the phenomenon that is #demphd on Twitter, that myself and Julie set up nearly two years ago.  I will also be meeting Caroline Bartle, another incredible innovative whirlwind, another tweep that I now consider a true friend, she knows me so well - we are staying in the same place so hopefully those creativity juices will get going and we'll be changing the world together! 

There are a lot of people that I need to thank who have been there for me through this difficult decade, who would not like their names published on the internet.  But I am thanking you now - you know who you are.  And with your support and despite the problems, health issues, deaths and hiccups we have achieved, together, quite a lot.  Long may life continue!

Picking a good care home - 14 tips

I have updated my advice on how to select a care home from two years ago: The most difficult aspect to caring in my experience is the transition from home to institution, especially if that institution is not up to scratch, how do you know when it is the right place for your loved one?

1) Having a Variety of Enterprises
Having been an activities coordinator and care home manager myself, I consider this to be the most important aspect to a caring environment, be it hospital, hospice, care home or your own home.  These are activities that are suitable for the individual, if possible tailored to that individual's needs.  You or your loved one might enjoy chatting, socialising, walking, looking at the garden, playing games, music - make sure you know the activities that you think you or your loved one will enjoy.  Then ensure that the environment that you are moving to enables you to experience those activities. Here is a list of 101 activities from the US that people with dementia may enjoy. Try to draw up your own comprehensive list for yourself or your loved one.
2) Manager
Meet up with the care home manager.  They should be a registered nurse and be caring, flexible and friendly.  If the staff are happy then the residents normally are too. 
3)  Well cared for and clean residents, well dressed in clothes that fit with hearing aids on and glasses on.  When you look round the place be observant and see if people are smiling and having fun. 
4) Care Quality Commission reports.  Go to the CQC website. I think the CQC are petrified of getting sued, so sometimes it is difficult to tell from reading a report if a home is good or bad.  So you may get more mileage out of these other tips above and below.
5) Gut instinct. Would you or your loved one fit in well in this place?  As you look round try to picture them in the environment, and with the staff and other residents. We know from the latest research that emotional memories (which come from the Amygdala ) are the last to go, the Hippocampus memories which are factual and logic are the first to go, so feelings are particularly important in dementia care.  This is what Tom Kitwood talked about when he described person centred care.
6) Smiling staff. At good homes both the residents and the staff are smiling. 
7) Food.  Ask to look at the menus and taste the food.  If you don't find it appetising then why would someone with dementia?
8) Time of day.  If you can visit the care home at different times of day.  9am, lunchtime and 5pm.  See how they manage 'shift changes'.
9) Flexibility.  The place should be flexible - according to the needs, requirements and wishes of its residents.  Some people prefer to retire to their rooms - does the activity coordinator do a tour of the building to include everyone and talk to people when they're on their own if that's what they want?
10) Training.  Ask to see training records.  It is a good sign if they have implemented Dementia Care Mapping for example.
11) Smell.  It is a good sign if there are nice smells emanating from the place.  Added together with the other tips on this list then it should help put your mind at rest that the place is well managed.
12) Go for lunch.  The management should be keen to show off their good food.
13) Go for the day, ask to volunteer to help out.  Again they should welcome you with open arms.  If it's a positive experience then you're on to a winner.
14) Ask for help.  If you need help picking a care home for someone with dementia in the UK, then please give me a ring on 07969 204955 or email annatatt{at}Hotmail[dot]com.  You can also find me on Facebook - I'm wearing my wedding veil or Twitter @annatatton1.

How to use twitter - a guide for phd students

1) Follow the right people.  You have already decided that the reason you want to use twitter is to advance your learning and your studies, to do this it is best to follow people with similar intentions.  If you're wondering how you find out who these people are then go to the relevant 'chat' pages;
2) Engage in a relevant chat - use the right hashtag (#).  The hashtag symbol (#) is like a tagged conversation, so you carry on a conversation using the hashtag (#) symbol to identify it. Type in at the top of the twitter screen (once you have registered - using your real name) a relevant twitter chat hashtag: #phdchat, #phdforum, #socphd (social sciences), #acwri (academic writing) & #ecrchat (early career researcher).
3) Spend an afternoon following people.  You can always unfollow, and you can follow up to 2,000 people before twitter blocks you from following people.  This takes about an afternoon to click on follow for that many people - I recommend you do this from looking at the people contributing to the chats, then follow the people who are following them, after reading their profiles - aim to follow other academics and PhD students. Look at how many tweets people have done - the more they have chances are they are more experienced and so you'll have more to learn from them.
4) Start your own chat. I would say practice on existing chats first (as 2) - for about a month or so then for your topic area, if there isn't already a chat existing (check http://www.thechatdiary.com/ ).  Get together with some like minded people you met on twitter through 1) and 2) - send them direct messages if necessary and chat to them on the phone or Skype.  Your topic might have another hashtag or several.  Decide on a day, a unique hashtag title and a time and hey presto - you're started! 
5) Get some support  By this stage hopefully you will have at least one supporter or collaborator, you can help bounce ideas off each other.  You've got your topic now, all you need is a discussion theme every week or two and you're off!  Themes for weekly discussion are probably common to most PhDs so could be: Literature Review; Conceptual Framework; Methods; Results; Discussion; Analysis; Motivation and Procrastination.
6) Start a website or blog based on your chat. Wordpress is probably the best blogging site - you just need a unique name for your site and get going.  You can shorten your blogposts using https://bitly.com/ and then post the links on twitter - using your chat hashtag from 4) above.  Send direct messages to those people who contributed to your chat to promote the website.
7) Celebrate milestones.  For example once your chat is 6 months old you can promote that and put on your website (6) all the achievements of your chat.

Mrs Motivator's emergency 7 point kit

1) Have a break.  If you're worried that you've already had too long a break then...
2) Write a plan.  Scribble down the tasks you need to do on a piece of paper and put timescales on them, put a time/day next to it.  What are you going to do?  What task or activity?  When are you going to do it?  For how long?  How often? Do you have a contingency plan?  Can you share the plan with others to help motivate you?
3) Use a timer.  Work for one minute on the most difficult task - break the back of it.
4) Reward yourself with free treats - stick to it, be consistent with yourself.
5) Have a list of your top ten motivators to hand- people preferably still alive that you can talk to personally to help motivate you when you need it.  Can you ring them now?  Use motivational chats as free treats.
6) Dissect your demotivation:  What has caused it?  What got you out of it in the past?  The same things will work this time.
7) Pick motivational quotes and stick them on your computer monitor - preferably personalised to you - Good feedback?  Stick it on your monitor.

Twenty points to tick off daily for a happy life as a PhDer

1) Are you prioritising your mental and physical health?  Without good health you can't do anything so...
2) Take regular breaks - for breakfast, lunch and dinner for example.  Take care of number 1) - nobody else will.
3) Practice deep breathing - breathe counting to seven in and eleven out - 7/11 easy to remember and you can do it anytime, any place and anywhere.  Essentially this is what meditation is.
4) Try to write something everyday, even a to do list will do.  But if you don't, then don't beat yourself up about it.  Free time is thinking time which is very important too.
5) Put some very easy things on your to-do list that you can tick off - the ticking off will help you feel better.
6) Break tasks down into do-able chunks and put time scales next to them - of how long they take.  You can plan your day like this.
7) Read something.
8) Foster a positive relationship with your supervisor - try to act on their feedback and report back to them.  If this is problematic then...
9) Ask for advice and help from other sources to get you back on track.  Is there a reason why the relationship has been upset?  Are you ill?  Do you need a break? - go back to 1).
10) Do the most difficult thing on your to do list first.  If you can't do this, then
11) Do a few very easy things on your to-do list - ask advice about the difficult thing.
12) If you are having problems on a task or issue - can you have some training on it?  Book yourself on some training.
13) Tidy your desk.  Sounds small, but always makes me feel so much better!  Do it three times daily if necessary.
14) Do some filing. Follows from 13), just grouping your references together in their themes can help to increase your confidence - that you know what they say.
15) Play to your strengths.  If you're a morning person then have an early night and get up early.  If you're a night owl then stay up late and lie in!  You know when you work best, plan your most difficult tasks for that time.
16) Give yourself free treats - whatever floats your boat for the tasks that you complete daily.  Have you given yourself one today?  Plan what time to do it to increase your motivation.  Perhaps a cup of tea for a paragraph.
17) Stay connected with friends and family - best in person, then Skype, then phone, then email. 
18) Get support from twitter and the internet to help keep you motivated - look at #phdchat #phdforum #ecrchat and #acwri on twitter.
19) Reward yourself with motivational chats from suitable friends and family, get them to keep you on track
20) Have some exercise - adrenalin and endorphins keeps us going in the darkest of times.

Twenty Tips to get editing - get your teeth into it

1) Pinpoint the problem.  What is stopping you edit?  What is the problem?  If it's a point of academic disagreement, then swallow your pride and accept your editor's points.
2) Just do it.  Open the document.  Work on one sentence at a time.  Then a paragraph, then a page.
3) Give yourself free treats as rewards for completing bits.  Whatever floats your boat.
4) Have motivational chats with people as your free treats.
5) Draft an email that you may never send, to your editor, addressing their points.
6) Get into a routine of edit, then reward, edit, then reward.
7) Block your time 'In the next hour I am going to edit 200 words'.
8) Make a date with yourself to edit.
9) Ask an expert how they do it.
10) Get warm and comfortable.
11) Have your references close to hand and well organised.
12) Refer back to your original sources, look again at what they said.
13) Are you procrastinating or are you thinking? - write down your thoughts in a short bullet point list.
14) Chunk it - break down the task into doable chunks of even a few minutes at a time.
15) Present your piece verbally to see where the holes are.
16) Read it again.
17) Look at your proof readers' comments again.
18) Use the Writers' diet website
19) Evaluate your progress - how much have you done today, what helped you get going?
20) If you're desperate ask for an extension to your deadline!

Conquering self confidence issues - ten steps

Every writer, presenter and author has moments, days, weeks or even years of self doubt. One senior academic said to me that he thought the secret of successful completion of something like a PhD was 50% confidence.  Increasing our confidence will therefore increase our writing quality and performance. Confidence and motivation go hand in hand - you can't motivate yourself if you don't feel confident. To write something like a PhD you need both so these ten steps might help you along the way.
1) Don't panic. Breathe deeply - 7/11 technique- count to seven breathing in, count to eleven breathing out.  It is totally normal to doubt your writing skills/editing skills/public speaking or whatever it is.  Everyone has periods where they doubt themselves and get a little anxious, just don't let it get out of control so it affects your everyday life.  Easy to say, but follow my other top ten tips to prevent panic and you will hopefully stave off these negative and counterproductive feelings and behaviours.
2) Talk to someone.  Share your writing or thoughts on the topic with someone whose writing skills you admire, someone who makes you feel better; you are probably doing much better than you think.  Get them to bolster your confidence. Say to them 'look I'm not sure about this', see what they say.
3) Get yourself in the confidence protective bubble before you write or present. It is worth setting aside an hour to do this with a good friend or relative.  First think of four of your best, happiest memories - in date order.  It might help to write them down - just a word to remind you of each.  Feel yourself smiling as you remember and really revel in it.  The first one should be a time from childhood or youth, the others later, then imagine as you think of each your confidence/happiness/relaxation doubling and trebling each time.  By the fourth memory you should be ready to conquer the world.  Now imagine yourself (or better still actually stand up and do it) stepping into your confidence bubble, at the level of confidence of your quadrupling of the four memories, smiling, happy and confident, ready to take on anything. Practice 5 times daily.
4) Just write a sentence.  Then a paragraph, then a page.  Or edit previous work.  Or do a bullet point list of the first things that come into your head.  Summarise the most exciting things you've uncovered in the past 2 weeks. Then celebrate or reward yourself, allow yourself to write your blog, go on facebook, phone a friend, have a nap or whatever.
5) Pin your free treats or rewards for writing/practising on your fridge.  When you forget what you have at your disposal to motivate yourself, there it is.
6) Consider Coaching & Get a Mentor
You should be able to get a workplace or University mentor.  Just ask a member of staff who has inspired you before to help mentor you through whatever process you are finding difficult.  You could get some free coaching from a coaching institution which is training people to become coaches, thus getting a student coach.  Coaches are good at helping you meet your goals.  Some of them are trained in hypnotherapy techniques such as NLP which is very helpful for poor confidence.
7) Meditation
By setting aside time each day to practice deep breathing as outlined in step 1, you are effectively meditating.  It is a very good idea if you have problems commiting even a few seconds to this that you learn how to use the stopwatch on your smartphone or use an eggtimer and just practice deep breathing for 3 minutes a day to start with.  You will find that as well as feeling more confident you will feel calmer and more focussed, very useful attributes. Don't worry if you fall asleep - sleep is excellent when we're stressed and anxious.
8) 'Positive self talk'/Prayer/Self hypnosis
Once you've mastered meditation (perhaps after a week) introduce positive statements of what you want to be doing, visualise yourself doing it eg 'Let me learn, grow and develop'.  This is self hypnosis and there are plenty of books you could get from the library to fine tune your skills in developing this.  Prayer - some people love and claim great results from - perhaps start off with counting your blessings, expressing thanks for all the things in your life and end on a request to help yourself on a particular do-able task.
9) Hypnotherapy
There are many schools of hypnotherapy who are happy to accept volunteers for students to practice their hypnotherapy on - and lack of self confidence is a very easy complaint for hypnosis to work on.
10) Take a break.  It could be that for reasons entirely out of anyone's control - death or illness for example that you simply need a break from work and study to nurse your confidence back to its usual levels.  Just give yourself a break if this is your situation.  Enjoy the time off and come back when you are feeling better.